Here at gevaaalik.com we don’t have office space issues yet, but one of these days it will happen. The size of your commercial property or leased office space may have seemed like a bargain when you signed up for 900 sqm of cubicled Utopia, but you’ve since learned that size is relative. Some office spaces just aren’t large enough for the people they contain. If your office space is filled with the following personalities, it’s no wonder you feel like you’re working in a shoebox:
1. The Closet Belieber
This person works hard, says little, and keeps to himself most of the time – the type of behaviour that says, “I don’t want you to know my dirty little secret”. However, everyone in the office can hear Justin Bieber choons blasting through his ear buds when he locks himself in a toilet cubicle to get his twice-daily Bieber Fever on. And whenever a bad word about Bieber is uttered in the general office vicinity, you could swear The Closet Belieber’s eyes tear up just a little…
2. The Delegating Delilah
Even though your office is an open-plan Pandora’s Box of daily theatrics, no one really knows what The Delegator is actually so busy with that she simply passes her work along to unfortunate victims trying not to surround her. You could be unreservedly working on closing your next big deal, with your client on a knife edge on the other end of your call, when The Delegator pops her head over your side of the cubicle with a brain-shredding, “Are you busy? I just need you to…”
3. The IT God
He saunters through the cubicles, leaving a trail of BO and Doritos crumbs in his wake. His double-chin held high, he imagines the employees (and the boss, for that matter) down on their knees, chanting his name as he passes by, heading for the server room from which he will flick a few switches, reset a few passwords, and puppeteer the lives of the people on his network. Office workers, behold his majesty!
4. The Office Trolley
Cousin to The Village Bicycle, this particular employee has been around the office more than once, and we’re not talking about when she fetches her stuff from the printer. The Office Trolley takes workplace performance to the next level, staying many late nights to finish her jobs. And where it says “minute-taking experience” on her CV, it means that when she’s in a meeting with another employee, it only takes a minute.
5. The Perfectionist Timebomb
She’s that Anonymous Grammar Nazi who corrects apostrophes on everyone’s Facebook walls; she’s the hundred-and-ten-percenter who expects everyone within a 50 m radius to absorb her perfectionist tendencies and then let them loose in their daily responsibilities and monthly reports. She makes Fortune 500 clients wait so that she can “just check this one more time” and tell them where to improve. You’re worried that her OCD gets so bad that one day she detonates the building because you forgot a period off the end of a bulleted list.
Which office personalities make your work environment feel too small? Come on, you know you want to vent about them. Looking for office space? Check out Ash Brook.